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Closure With The ElijahList
14 March 2013
Although this article can be read on its own, it is also the ninth in a series of articles. You might like to read the previous eight first, in order to understand the context that the following thoughts were written in:
In a number of articles on this Web site, I have recounted the difficulties I had with my past employer, The ElijahList:
As I was saying, it wasn't the fact that I was fired that wounded me, but the WAY in which I was fired, which I have already recounted in The Agony and the Ecstasy. But now, after three years, I feel that it is finally time to leave the past behind me and find closure regarding my painful experiences at The ElijahList.
Not that I am able to find closure BECAUSE of the ElijahList leadership, but, unfortunately, in spite of them. But despite the lack of any actions on the part of the ElijahList leadership which could bring closure to my unpleasant association with them, I think that I can still find closure on my end only, and lay the past to rest in my heart. And surprisingly, I think it was being hired last month, if only for a week and a half, that has really helped me. This is a startling statement, seeing that I have spent the last seven articles describing how my brief employment was such a horrible experience for me! So let me explain.
During these past three years, I have struggled greatly with the perception of myself as a middle-aged, unemployable has-been. As the months and years slipped by, and I applied for job after job, I began to feel more and more certain that nobody would want me, that my skills and experience were unmarketable, and that I was doomed to perpetual rejection. There was also the huge problem that when I applied for a job, they would most likely contact my previous boss at The ElijahList and receive a negative report about me. So, all in all, it seemed to me pretty hopeless that anyone would ever want to hire me again.
But an amazing thing happened last month. Someone did hire me! And when I was depressed and discouraged on the third day of work, and tried to convince my boss that I should quit, he explained how MUCH he wanted me as an employee, and that he REALLY wanted me to stay. Even when I eventually did end my employment on the seventh work day, my boss was still expressing his strong desire that I would continue. Wow! All that REALLY made me feel wanted, and that my skills and experience still had a lot of value. These aspects of my short stay there were very encouraging and healing!
So even though things didn't work out at last month's job, still, I WAS hired and very much wanted, and my bad experience with The ElijahList did not hinder that wanting or hiring. So that's cool! And that definitely helps bring closure. Although, as I mentioned above, the most profound closure would result if the other side wanted that too.
As part of the closure process, I have also removed some things I wrote about the ElijahList in a few of my articles which were better left unsaid. Now my heart feels scrubbed clean of any leftover defilement, and that sure feels good!
In light of all this, I now want to leave the past behind, and no longer return to the subject of The ElijahList. I forgive its leaders and wish them all the best, and hope that they draw ever closer to Yeshua and His ways of love and purity. And I wish these things for myself too, so that, as Yeshua prayed in John 17, all of His followers would be united in Him, even as He and the Father are one. Amen!
This article is 17th a series of articles on this Web site related to My Journey with Yeshua (Jesus) which also includes (scroll to see the entire list):
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